I recently wondered about how far we should take being “adaptive”, and when we should leave, not adapt, and get out. It is super important to adapt in life because most history reveals that the ones who have adapted survived the longest. In history the ones that adapt to their surroundings are the ones that become successful. Adapting is what can make or break us in whatever course we choose to take. Our lives have ups and downs, and even if we know it or not, we have to adapt to what is going on around us in order for us to go from those lows to those awesome highs in our life. What if we keep adapting to a situation when we leave the situation or choose not to adapt and choose a different course to take? I fear I was too good at adapting to the abusive situation around me, instead of leaving and choosing a better path. I wanted to “make it work” at all costs…apparently. But the whole time I knew something was wrong.
Why do we adapt to abusive situations, and because of our awesome adaptive skills, we end up staying in an abusive relationship and go through hell in the process? I think it is a little different for everyone, but a main reason for this is our natural instinct to survive. We have possibly become too good at adapting to all situations. Okay, so we adapt to survive the here and now which may mean for some, do what you need to do in order to avoid more abuse. That’s how we stay in abusive relationships. How we find ourselves in them in the first place is multi faceted.
Be the best adapter, but only to those situations that serve you better, not worse. If one if constantly adapting to life in an abusive relationship then that is how we can get brainwashed into staying. Don’t adapt to a life of abuse whether it be verbal or physical. Trust your gut and ask yourself questions. When you ask yourself questions then you get answers that can help you decide whether to adapt, or when to leave.
